Life Lessons Learned at the Landfill

1. Don't pass right by the sign that says "one car on the scale at a time"- once you pass that sign and are stopped directly behind another car...you're on the scale. It makes grouchy workers yell at you. PS: Doing this TWO times in ONE trip will make them EXTRA grouchy and they will think you are really stupid.

2. Bring Cash.

3. Don't think your charm or beauty will allow them to overlook any jot or tittle of the "Rules". Those landfill workers are sticklers. Even if you have all the proof you need to prove you are a resident of the city...they'll still make you do the lie detector test.

4. Don't wear flip flops to the dump. Ever.

5. Don't inhale.

6. Don't leave the car doors open...a large community of flies may try to stowaway in your vehicle to a new "less crappy" home. Your kids will freak out and you will be swatting as you drive as fast as you can with the windows down in 110 degrees to encourage the flies to leave your car. Nope. They'll stay.

7. Bring lots of snacks. Children don't like to wait while you are dumping your stuff.

8. Dumping is cheap. It only cost 2$ for a whole bunch of stuff...but like lesson number 2 states: bring cash. The nearest ATM is MILES away in a strange smelling convenience mart.

9. Don't go to the landfill.