Thoughts for a Thursday

WARNING: This is a bit of a rambling post, mostly for me to put some erratic thoughts together, and perhaps get some feedback- so beware, there are no beautiful words ahead, just random thoughts.

Natural vs. Manufactured

What is the difference and why does the latter bother me so much? The truth is that for me one of the most attracting things is someone who is comfortable in their own skin. Someone who has a sense of identity and someone who comes off as being true to what God's created them to be. In friendships, in life, and for me in love- I've found that I'm drawn to those who are ...I guess, natural.

Take my husband for instance. I love the fact that he is who he is. As a pastor he doesn't try to manufacture himself into the modern image of what an up and coming pastor should be. Knowing him for close to 17 years and seeing all the phases of life he's been in- he's essentially who he was at 15. And the steps he's taken in his life seem natural. Does this make any sense? I remember one of my favorite movies as a music loving early teen (don't laugh) was Sister Act Two. I loved the music. One of my favorite scenes was when Whoopi is talking to Lauryn Hill and basically says, "If you wake up in the morning and all you can think of is singing...then you're a singer."

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there is something about a "solid identity" a "solid personality". To me, it's a little more difficult to swallow when someone has made a decision that they are going to be someone, whether an athlete, a musician, a minister, anything really...and then they buy the book on Being an Athlete for Dummies and become a textbook _________ (whatever it is that they want to become). And then at some point they get together with other manufactured ________ fill in the blanks and compare notes. (I'm not talking about genuine relationships of encouragement and leadership...the actions could be identical...I'm talking about the feeling behind it, the feeling of making it "forced" and "mutual backpatting" on how well each others manufacturing is going...)For many people this happens, at least I think, because they don't really know who they are and then when they find something, they just throw themselves into it; and others actually manufacture themselves to become that "thing." Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't do what it takes to follow your dreams, and no one achieves success without certain characteristics, but be you. I guess I feel like if this is what you're supposed to do, it can be successful and still look like you.

In the endeavor to build a community of Christians, people on a journey to live the life God has for them, I never want to "sell out". If this is real, if it's really where I'm supposed to be, then it will still look like me. I know things will change and I will grow (at least I hope so.) But there is an element of me that has to be true, no matter what. And that is something that I value and look for in those around me. That is the true meaning of authentic. I mean anyone can throw a label on their church or organization or relationship and say its authentic, but if you've lost "you" in the process, is that really a fair surmise?

If you have to lose you to attain success than shouldn't it have been someone else doing it in the first place?