The Parable of the Red Onion

Once upon a time there was a family. This family was fairly normal, except for the fact that the children were the cutest you've ever seen, the father was totally hot, and the mother was rich in wisdom and love. (other than that they were completely average.) One Sunday afternoon they traveled in their gas guzzling SUV to a far away land known as "Costco." This magical land offers 50 gallon drums of mayonnaise and 27lb bags of basmati rice and there are "fairies" who offer you delectable morsels at every corner! (instead of wings, these fairies wear hairnets and plastic gloves...gorgeous!)

As they explored the rich offerings of this land, they stocked up on boxes of macaroni and goldfish...until their cart was full and they knew that they could survive the pandemic of the "bird flu" virus, should it find its way to the desert. When all of a sudden the mother (in all her wisdom) saw a beautiful purple bag filled with onions. (Yes, I'm writing about onions.) She said to the hot father, "Husband, I would very much like to buy this bag of onions." The father scoffed at her request. "Why would you need so many onions?!!!"

The mother repeated her wish thrice. (ok, not really but I've always wanted to use the word thrice in a posting) So the father agreed and they placed the bag in the cart. (He KNEW he better not violate the mothers WISDOM....)

Later that week, the incredibly wise mother discovered that there was something special about her bag of onions. You see she opened the bag and used part of the first onion in her pasta, then the next morning in some eggs, then again in some soup, and then in a salad, and some more eggs, and some more salad...It was as if the more onion she cut off, the more there was. It was then that she realized that the hot husband may have been right. She would NEVER be able to use all the onions at this rate!

So the morals of this parable are thrice (ok, i know it doesn't fit, but its just so fun to say!) do not go to the land of "Costco" for onions, sometimes your hot husband is right, AND red onions can be incorporated to just about EVERY meal. Anyone got a tic, tac?


(the NEVERENDING Onion)


(Do they have a 12 step program for my husband's addiction?)