30 reasons

1. He is a handsome handsome man
2. His blue eyes melt my heart
3. He believes in me
4. He TRULY loves people
5. He is a born leader
6. He's goofy, and that makes me laugh
7. He gives 100% to EVERYTHING he sets his hand to do, and usually is good at it
8. He is an incredible father
9. He makes the bed every morning
10. He is passionate about growing in his faith
11. He inspires me to dream bigger
12. He'll watch chick flicks with me and not complain too badly...sometimes he tears up...
13. He plays his guitar and sings with all his heart
14. Did I mention he was handsome??? He is.
15. He is a caring friend
16. He writes and expresses himself very well
17. He trust me to make decisons (like picking out our house, flooring, furniture) without him
18. When he really laughs, it's catching...
19. He is driven to be a good provider
20. He speaks his mind, I don't have to wonder or guess...
21. He loves to read, so do I (I like that...)
22. He remembers things when I forget them
23. He's not afraid to take risks or make big decisions, sometimes I am
24. He allows me to be me
25. He is really, really handsome...
26. He likes my cooking, except for my chili cook-off entry, but then again...no one did
27. He is fun to compete against in board games, but can things can get pretty hairy
28. Speaking of hairy...
29. He is real, not pretentious at all
30. He is my best friend, biggest cheerleader, confidant, still makes me weak in the knees, still hot as ever thirty-year-old husband

I love you for all these reasons and more. Happy 30th!

To all of you who just endured my sappiness, thanks! It's a big milestone and he is a great man. Happy Birthday Babe.

secrets revealed

Okay...technically I shouldn't have to divulge since there are some "lurkers" out there...but I will since you are such dedicated friends...Acutally I'm not sure if you'll even care to know...

I really just wanted to see how many responses I could get, ya know? I mean I see that 16 unique visitors hit yesterday and 4 commented...just weird I guess. I also know it revolves around "cookies" and if you don't store cookies it would look like you were a new visitor every time.

Anyway....the secret. Yesterday without any warning or a word to anyone I got really psyched up walked into a random hair salon and completely CHOPPED my hair off. I'm not talking a couple inches. My long hair now reaches my chin at its longest point. It is about 2 inches shorter than what I told the chick...but oh well its only hair.

My daughter laughed, my husband was shocked.

So it's out. The BIG secret. :) Sorry you had to wait to hear it.

I have a secret

I have a secret. I'm not going to tell until everyone who reads this page today comments...

I will check my stats at 3:00- if the number of unique visitors matches the number of comments, I will share my secret.

By the way, blogger has updated their comments and you don't have to log in to comment...so quit yer whining! BUT if you do log in as anonymous, leave your name or a clue as to who you are...

Thoughts on Parenting

Becoming a parent: The moment the two lines appear on the little pee stick, the excitement and joy or fear and trepidation are soon met by the feeling that comes and never leaves...guilt.

In our society where everyone strives for "perfection" or at least the illusion of "perfection" it is virtually impossible to escape the nagging thoughts that compare us with them and size up our acheivements with their acheivements. If you have kids you know what I'm talking about- if you don't simply imagine the "competitive" feelings you have about your paycheck, your intelligence, your house, your car, your body...whatever it is that you strive to be the best at...then amplify it 100 times. Do you remember that NO FEAR shirt that said, "When you are not out there practicing, someone, somewhere is. And when you meet, they will win."? Well parenting is like the ultimate sport. We have these young impressionable people, and if we can shape their environment just so, and give them the perfect tools they can become....duh...duh...duh...duh...THE PERFECT CHILD. (all the things that we wanted to be, but didn't quite make it.)

I read an article this morning that helped to quiet the voices that can get loud. The ones that tell you, "so and so gave their child a better birthday party" or "so and so's child walked at 8 months old and speaks fluent greek" or "so and so stays at home and bakes homemade bread and breastfed her child till they were eight so they never had a stuffy nose slept through the night at 1 month old and...."

Anyway I could go on and on...but I won't. A couple exerpts from the article really sum up my feelings on the subject:

We live in a perfection society now, in which it is possible to make our bodies last longer, to manipulate our faces so the lines of laughter and distress are wiped out. We believe in the illusion of control, and nowhere has that become more powerful—and more pernicious—than in the phenomenon of manic motherhood. What the child-care guru D. W. Winnicott once called "the ordinary devoted mother" is no longer good enough. Instead there is an über-mom who bounces from soccer field to school fair to play date until she falls into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, her life somewhere between the Stations of the Cross and a decathlon.

If your mother has been micromanaging your homework since you were 6, it's hard to feel any pride of ownership when you do well. You can't learn from mistakes and disappointments if your childhood is engineered so there aren't any.

There's the problem with turning motherhood into martyrdom. There's no way to do it and have a good time. If we create a never-ending spin cycle of have-tos because we're trying to expiate senseless guilt about working or not working, trying to keep up with the woman at school whose kid gets A's because she writes the papers herself, the message we send our children is terrible. By our actions we tell them that being a mom—being their mom—is a drag, powered by fear, self-doubt and conformity, all the things we are supposed to teach them to overcome. It just becomes a gloss on that old joke: Enough about me. What about you? How do you make me feel about myself? The most incandescent memories of my childhood are of making my mother laugh. My kids did the same for me. A good time is what they remember long after toddler programs and art projects are over. The rest is just scheduling.

the little things

I've found that saying "I love you" can be done in such a small way...and sometimes the little things mean so much more than the BIG extravagant ways. The little details tell us, I cared enough to remember this, I love you enough to show you in a way that means I love you to YOU (not just me.)

What are some "little things" that make you feel loved?